Monday, 18 September 2017

We are 34


18 September, 2017. We are 34.

This is the day I received confirmation that my middle school friend Vivian had passed away from leukaemia… as to when exactly, we don’t know.

Vivian and I lived in different countries so we never had the opportunity to develop a deep friendship. However, there was a time when we were very close: The first few months of our arrival to the Philippines. When we started 6th grade at International School Manila in 1994, we were the only two Taiwanese girls in the grade. I visited her house quite a lot. At one point, my mom was hospitalised for a severe flu and I stayed over in her house for a few days. That was when I realised how chaotic and dysfunctional her family environment had been.

Eventually we drifted apart as new students came to the school and we started becoming closer to other people. I made the mistake of labelling Vivian as rebellious and a bad influence because she did not study hard like the other Asian kids, wore makeup and revealing outfits, and skipped some classes to hang out with her boyfriend. Although I kept a distance from her at that time, I also knew she was a multitalented person who would have flourished if she had grown up in a nourishing environment. She was extremely intelligent (with enough capacity to be a doctor if she puts her mind to it), a great singer, and had an astute sense of fashion.

Eventually, she flourished.

I left the Philippines in March 1997 and did not see Vivian again until 2010 in a mini ISM reunion in Taiwan (by then she had already accepted my apology about being judgmental towards her during middle school). She was totally different from what I remembered. Not that her facial features had changed, but it was her air of elegance. Her eyes had a gentleness to it, and she spoke with empathy. Her maturity was many years beyond our age. She also mentioned she had come to know Christ.

Judy, another middle school classmate, was so fascinated by Vivian’s transformation that she started attending church with Vivian. Vivian was a true living testimony for Christ.

I regularly catch up with Judy and Vivian every time I visit Taiwan for holidays. However, in February 2016 I received a sad news from Judy that Vivian was undergoing bone marrow transplant for leukaemia, and so I kept Vivian in my prayers.

In May 2017, I received some messages from Vivian where she seemed disorientated, and I suspected there was a downturn. At least a month ago, I noticed her Facebook messenger no longer showed her “last time active”, and voiced my suspicions to Judy.

Eventually, the confirmation was received today, when Vivian’s mother was finally strong enough to take phone calls.

Many times, we encounter perplexities in life.

With her difficult childhood, Vivian should deserve a better adulthood, but did not end up spending much more time on earth than Jesus did in his ministry on earth.

With her talents and empathy, Vivian already influenced many people positively, but could have influenced more greatly if she’s still alive.

Not everyone will be cured from their illnesses, and even those who are will die sooner or later.[1]

Coincidentally, I had been studying Psalm 88 today. This is the darkest lament psalm of the whole book of Psalms, as it begins and ends with unanswered cries to God. It offers no change in circumstance or any hope that there will be a change.[2] This psalm teaches a lesson about the real world, that sometimes there is no happy ending. Some people suffer and even die in horrible circumstances.[3]

If there is nothing beyond our life on earth, things do not make sense. This is why God “has put eternity into man's heart”. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Health, and life on earth are temporal possessions, and the ultimate hope is in Christ.[4]




[1] Messer, Flourishing, 199.
[2] DeClaisse-Walford, Jacobson, and LaNeel Tanner. The Book of Psalms, 668.
[3] DeClaisse-Walford, Jacobson, and LaNeel Tanner. The Book of Psalms, 673.
[4] Messer, Flourishing, 199.

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