18 September, 2017. We are 34.
This is the day I received confirmation
that my middle school friend Vivian had passed away from leukaemia… as to when
exactly, we don’t know.
Vivian and I lived in different countries
so we never had the opportunity to develop a deep friendship. However, there
was a time when we were very close: The first few months of our arrival to the
Philippines. When we started 6th grade at International School
Manila in 1994, we were the only two Taiwanese girls in the grade. I visited
her house quite a lot. At one point, my mom was hospitalised for a severe flu and
I stayed over in her house for a few days. That was when I realised how chaotic
and dysfunctional her family environment had been.
Eventually we drifted apart as new students
came to the school and we started becoming closer to other people. I made the
mistake of labelling Vivian as rebellious and a bad influence because she did
not study hard like the other Asian kids, wore makeup and revealing outfits, and
skipped some classes to hang out with her boyfriend. Although I kept a distance
from her at that time, I also knew she was a multitalented person who would have
flourished if she had grown up in a nourishing environment. She was extremely
intelligent (with enough capacity to be a doctor if she puts her mind to it), a
great singer, and had an astute sense of fashion.
Eventually, she flourished.
I left the Philippines in March 1997 and
did not see Vivian again until 2010 in a mini ISM reunion in Taiwan (by then
she had already accepted my apology about being judgmental towards her during
middle school). She was totally different from what I remembered. Not that her
facial features had changed, but it was her air of elegance. Her
eyes had a gentleness to it, and she spoke with empathy. Her maturity was many
years beyond our age. She also mentioned she had come to know Christ.
Judy, another middle school classmate, was
so fascinated by Vivian’s transformation that she started attending church with
Vivian. Vivian was a true living testimony for Christ.
I regularly catch up with Judy and Vivian every
time I visit Taiwan for holidays. However, in February 2016 I received a sad news
from Judy that Vivian was undergoing bone marrow transplant for leukaemia, and so
I kept Vivian in my prayers.
In May 2017, I received some messages from
Vivian where she seemed disorientated, and I suspected there was a downturn. At
least a month ago, I noticed her Facebook messenger no longer showed her “last
time active”, and voiced my suspicions to Judy.
Eventually, the confirmation was received
today, when Vivian’s mother was finally strong enough to take phone calls.
Many times, we encounter perplexities in
life.
With her difficult childhood, Vivian should
deserve a better adulthood, but did not end up spending much more time on earth
than Jesus did in his ministry on earth.
With her talents and empathy, Vivian already
influenced many people positively, but could have influenced more greatly if
she’s still alive.
Not everyone will be cured from their
illnesses, and even those who are will die sooner or later.[1]
Coincidentally, I had been studying Psalm
88 today. This is the darkest lament psalm of the whole book of Psalms, as it
begins and ends with unanswered cries to God. It offers no change in
circumstance or any hope that there will be a change.[2]
This psalm teaches a lesson about the real world, that sometimes there is no
happy ending. Some people suffer and even die in horrible circumstances.[3]
If there is nothing beyond our life on
earth, things do not make sense. This is why God “has put eternity into man's
heart”. (Ecclesiastes 3:11)
Health, and life on earth are temporal possessions,
and the ultimate hope is in Christ.[4]
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